Author’s Story

My spiritual quest or spiritual development has been an important and ongoing journey. My understanding is never complete and your participation and comments here help me to expand my understandings. My spiritual views have been dramatically shaped and influenced by an internal desire, one that I believe exists in everyone at birth.

We are all molded by our society and upbringing to a point of saturation, which cuts off further development. The children and young people today recognize that dogmatic religious and secularist views are unhealthy for our future as a world community. Our world population is reaching a break out point … to reject religion and embrace spirituality. How have I reached such a controversial point of view?

Well, as a young child I became a quick study and applied myself diligently in studying scriptures and learning from those spiritual people around me. I knew I had a special gift from my Creator, a special closeness that has blessed me in every way throughout my entire life. I had always lived my life honestly and believed in being truthful all the time. I became very fluent in using the scriptures to defend my Christian faith and to attack religious dogma that crippled peoples spiritual growth. I wanted to help others open their minds to spirituality.

As I matured I began seeing weaknesses and problems in the so called “spiritual people” around me and in our Christian society. I could see clearly ways to address these issues, to solve problems, to fix attitudes, ways to move forward to help support and encourage the weak. I saw problems being created where none existed. While I became more and more involved in trying to sort out these discrepancies I began to realize I was fighting against a force that had been so enlightening to me and that struggle was crushing my spirit.

I relied heavily on prayer to keep me sane throughout the struggle against this huge powerful energy that engulfed every square inch of my world. As I continued to grow, now beyond the limiting framework of Christianity, I found it was my reliance on prayer and my connection with the Creator that motivated me to acquire the deeper understandings I needed to continue to grow spiritually.

My relationship with God kept me invigorated and motivated as I grew in enlightenment and understanding to satisfy my own spiritual longings. Those around me could not figure me out. I was alone as my thoughts were unique. I was questioning the authority in our lives, I pushed for clarity and answers, but in the church I was given a standard line something to the effect of “do not lean upon your own understanding”. This may work for others but this would not work for me. I was determined to get the proper understanding. My endless prayers ignited my internal spirit. I was on fire internally to clear the contradictions. I soon realized that the answers I sought would not come from the people around me.

I began to see those people around me, that their life and existence was too shallow or limiting for me. Through constant prayer and reliance on the Creator, I began to see that the new enlightenment of Christianity had now become a curtain to block further growth. I was told in essence to stop looking, to trust and to rely on faith. These concepts were unacceptable to me, I kept rereading Jesus words to “keep seeking, keep asking” I wanted more answers.

Every day began with a long prayer. I integrated new thoughts through personal study and new insights from other resources on self improvement and human development. I began to see things clearer and clearer. I realized that every person had to find their own balance with the Creator. Throughout human history most of mankind has relied on someone else to define that balance for them. Such reliance on others, religion, governments, organizations or anything other than themselves and their connection with the Creator was a life of limited spirituality.

My encouragement for those who still feel as if something is missing despite their close relationship with God, is that there is something missing, and you can find it. As Jesus said, “keep on seeking and you will find”… it’s the seeking that helps one find. It’s the asking that gets the answers.

I noticed in my own quest for growth and enlightenment that whenever I questioned something it created a sense of fear or apprehension from those in my close spiritual circle. I remember having my beliefs challenged in writing I read with intensity wanting the answers. I was warned against such an activity, by a spiritual man I had admired greatly. I however would not ignore my spirit which was compelled to investigate (seek). I digested the information to my own satisfaction. I was inspired and strengthened even more by my own investigation. I believe information is good. The more information, good and bad, the more spiritually balanced one becomes.

I soon began to realize that once a person decides they have “the truth” they close their eyes to further growth. Jesus said, “Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need”, I was encouraged to believe I had all the answers in Jesus “the way the truth and the light” but that was not fulfilling my spiritual need, I was blocking out further spiritual development and insights. I realized that if I stopped asking and I stopped seeking at that point my spiritual life was maximized. One becomes truncated or cut off from further spiritual development and growth.

I saw many of those I loved as frustrated with the lack of growth in their own lives. I wish they could connect with their inner spirit, that internal connection that drives our thinking. Connection with that spirit inside that energy that flows throughout our bodies that is what being spiritual is. Aligning our lives and harmonizing our activities with that internal spirit is key. Spiritual growth is satisfying your spirit, the more our spirit asks for the more answers it is given. My consistent prayer for everyone is to keep your spirit hungry. Never stop looking, never think or believe you have it all.

Our life and happiness can grow unbounded by seeking to satisfy our spirituality. That is our spirit connection internally with the universal energy, the Creator. Jesus in his sermon on the mount taught that when your spirit is down or dissatisfied you are conscious of your spiritual need. I believe that is God’s Spirit internally communicating with you personally. By honestly pursuing your own internal spirit as your guide you will continue to grow and grow. So if you have a question pursue it, if you have a fear confront it, if you have worry address it that is spiritual growth. The more you feel the lack the more you can receive to fill it.

Let your honest direct connection to the spirit, that internal feeling in your stomach match harmoniously with your thinking and actions. That healthy honest spirit being satisfied will enrich your life. When you are in conflict with your inner spirit that is “truth… YOUR Truth” … that is being conscious of your spiritual need. That is genuinely spiritual, that spirit built within us connecting us directly to the Creator, the energy.

Beware when someone tells you how to feel, how or what to think or how to act in a given situation. Listen to the advice of many differing points of view but remember you are the person who must act and live with your life decisions. Always be completely honest with yourself working in harmony with the spirit that flows within you, that’s being spiritual. That is spirituality, and that pursued in every aspect of your life creates an abundance of values. Abundance means an overflow, more than enough, and that allows you to share these values with others. The more you obtain the more you can share and that applies to every aspect of our existence. Remember there is more joy in giving than in receiving. Spiritual is working honestly and harmoniously with your internal spirit. Let it be your guide and motivation in life. Happy are those conscious of their spiritual needs.

I find myself as I pass the half century mark of my life that many of my peers from all walks of life seem to have lost their drive, that fire or passion that makes life so wonderful and fulfilling. I for one am happy to be alive. By continuing to grow and experience new things in life, be them spiritual things, physical health, financial endeavors, personal relationships, anything can be achieved through honest integrity to our own internal spirit which is communicating directly with our Creator. I address everyday with a sense of wonderment and growth and I am eager to find and learn something new every day. My enthusiasm and drive is overwhelming to those around me. My energy comes from the Source of Dynamic Energy and that perfect energy source is within everyone, for those who choose to be conscious of it. Don’t fight it, instead pursue it, believe it, flow with it and the more you connect inside with your own mental thoughts and align them with your internal energy the happier and richer your life will be. That is my thirty cents on spirituality – I invite your feed back!

17 Responses to Author’s Story

  1. Wow, I’ve gone through some of the same growth triggers you have.

    In my 20’s I returned to church after a few years away. I was searching for something but I didn’t know what. The church I attended with a friend revived me. And for many years, it fed me spiritually. The hunger inside me was finding sustenance.

    But after a series of incidents which did not sit well with me, I began to look with discernment at where I was at. Some people in the church were acting in a certain way and justifying their actions as “Christ-like,” when in reality those actions were veiled hate. All this time, I was fervently studying my Bible and Jesus’ examples of love, trying to think like Him. What I had learned made me realize that the actions being claimed as His were not indicative of his true nature.

    I began to withdraw, stand back. This concerned me greatly. Was I wrong? The church teachings supported those people’s beliefs and actions. It took a great deal of communicating with God, personal reflection, and courage to make a change in my life. I came to realize that my spiritual quest was taking on a new direction. I had to follow my heart and the path that my God was leading me down.

    This did not happen overnight. I am now in my 50’s. My transition happened over a period of decades. I work at my growth through other means than the church and I grow in my personal faith and spiritual awareness every day. I miss the comradeship of a church family but as long as it detracts from rather than leads me to spiritual growth, I will not return.

    In the meantime I learn from the God of my understanding and the tools he leads me to use. I am currently writing a personal development blog which is spiritually based, The Dreamcatcher’s Web/blog, in the hopes that it will help me advance further. I don’t imply that I know everything there is to know. On the contrary, I am still searching but it is my hope that I can do two things with my blog: 1) teach others who can benefit from my experience, and 2) learn from others and their experiences.

    Thank you for sharing your story. And for allowing me to share mine.

    • Seeker ... says:

      Thank you Monica for posting here. I visited your blog and read most posts, I enjoyed your 7 steps to getting to know God. I am so pleased that someone actually read some of my stuff here. I had felt quite alone for many years as my spiritual progress seemed to violate all my former religious traditions. Thank you for your post.

  2. Angie says:

    But of course you would go to that website, as I removed myself from there vibration.. Incredible!! Seeing you seeing me & I do not mind! It is ok,Mark, I could tell it was you when I was reading..

    • Seeker ... says:

      … I found your blog link on the Iparte website back in April or May when I commended your growth, but I’m not Mark. Your bright energy is missed there, but you obviosly should be where you need to be. Where ever your vibration is now remember … “There is none else besides Him”. All vibrations are from the same source they are in You … they are your response to the world around you, ~ Peace

  3. Wendy says:

    I have had almost an identical story to the author of this post.
    I found this post by doing a search on ” connecting directly to the Creator”.
    I have been connecting directly to the Creator for some time now. I have a blog at MeditativeSelf@blogspot.com
    Thanks for posting. It is nice to know that there are others like me.

  4. Rille says:

    I have a “wild guess” on why Angie recognized a certain person. I presume that Mark is enlightened or on that path, like Seeker was/is. What we’re searching for is the essence of life, and when we are aligned with our true selves, divine conscious interacts with us, and we guides us. This is called the “Universal law”, which is now treading into history. A law without ethics, moral or reason. We act from the source itself rather than the made-up rules by the mind. We act with love, and this is what all enlightened people have in common. So, we write almost exactly the same things, because we aren’t typing these texts with our personality, but with enthusiasm. This is what will lead the new world in peace. Divine law which all of us will be connected to.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enthusiasm

  5. David says:

    Thank you for the article Seeker, always interesting to read the spiritual journey of others. May you always be open to change and growth. Spiritual blessings and take care my friend.

  6. Seeker ... says:

    Thank you David … your kind words and your blog have been a positive for me today!

  7. Malisa Kroft says:

    In a spiritual reality, nothing can be lost and therefore, nothing can be taken, but while we perceive this physical reality, the idea of losing when you give or gaining when you take, are inbred into the worlds thinking.’

  8. This is really beautiful. I think you have found the secret to living life.

  9. Rubie T says:

    It’s as if fate has somehow led me to your blog…

    Your words express a lot of what i am just beginning to discover about myself, about spirituality, and life. I feel as if there is some calling deep inside me, telling me to seek answers and truths, about seemingly everything. As a child, I always wanted answers too – i was one of those kids/students always needing an additional/deeper explanation to something, more detail and not just the “shortcut” answer. I had to be a frustration to teachers sometimes, always needing more insight. I’d say its been beneficial though, being that way, wanting answers and craving deeper meanings…

    Spiritually, I have just started my journey of discovery. I realized in the beginning of this year that I was going through some sort of spiritual awakening. I’ve always embraced being intuitive, trusting my gut and sensing whats yet to come… However, it has been almost magnified, more intense, accurate even… I continue experiencing vivid dreams, patterns, foresights, odd series of events… Its an overwhelming feeling of being truthful to others and myself… embracing who I am, loving others unconditionally… I feel even more in touch with animals/nature then i was before (natural born animal lover). Its overwhelmingly refreshing but just as much mysterious and intimidating.

    I have always questioned religion – the question of life after death, our creator? What to believe – we all wonder these things. What i have realized is that in life i must find those questions through seeking answers and discovery, in order to find my God. I have always felt his presence, however i have never been to church regularly, and in the past tended to get extremely uncomfortable during group prayers or say, at a friends house that prayed before eating.
    I do pray, not daily, but when I feel it is time to get in touch with my inner self and god. The way you described it was perfect – our own inner beings are the connection to God, to feeling him, asking him for guidance, our forgiveness, for strength.
    This to me is like my enlightenment. As i go through my transition into being a woman, I have learned so, so much. I just got my own place, working, getting back on track with myself and life, getting my school situation sorted out, and I am really starting to listen to myself and learn more and grow.

    I feel as if I’m rambling, probably because I am just so caught off guard having stumbled across this blog and realizing it was definitely for a reason….its comforting knowing that I am not alone in this lifelong journey of discovering my spiritual self and spiritual duties.

    Thank you for sharing this treasure with all of us 🙂
    Happy soul searching
    Rubie

    • Seeker ... says:

      Hi Rubie, Bless you in your growth. I am so happy this blog has found you. Please always Keep opening up, reaching higher, keep searching because every question you dare ask has an answer. The fact that you can articulate a clear concise question will always deliver you a clear concise answer. There is no end to your knowing until you decide so. Please don’t ever think or believe you know it all, keep rambling on I love it. The world needs people like you.

  10. i was most intrigued by your story. I was born into fundamentalist Christianity and, essentially, suffered severe psychological damage which inhibited my personal growth for many years. It wasn’t until much later in life that I began a spiritual search devoid of doctrinal restrictions which gradually revealed truths that I could readily accept and implement into my life. I know my journey will not be over as long as I live. But now I look forward to each new day that reveals new truths which are truly beneficial to my progress..

  11. Antonia says:

    By the way, to the author of the main article on this page: reading your essay has fed me spiritually more than, I’d guess, a hundred doctrinally confined teachers ever have. Your integrity + bravery to step outside the comfort of our parent religion’s nest, to fly on your own, carries a life-giving inspiration. When the spirit of the reader or listener or seer observes the TRUTH in flight, it ignites our own spirit that identifies with that truth, coz it is essentially one with that truth, that truth that we need to breath, the be alive, but that has lain dormant probably most or all of our lives. Its love. We NEED each other, every part of God needs each other + gives life to each other. I only really feel alive when I speak MY faith from my heart. When even my body carries the creativity of the Creator, the Spirit. I just pray for guidance to know how to connect more with others like me, others who are open, open hearted, open to listen, to learn, from the Spirit

    • Seeker ... says:

      Thank you for your kind words of collaboration. I am grateful that my words found their way to you. That they resonate as truth to you too brings me much joy. Please keep interacting with me here and with others like us who dare to challenge the limits of human intellect and the confines of structured thought. ~ Peace

      • antoniaekuhn@gmail.com says:

        Thank you, maybe I should. Its good to share, they say 🙂
        Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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